What is this season called Christmas? What has become of it? It all holds meaning for us in different ways. My Christmas message may feel like a thunder bolt to some. I'm good at delivering them and they come from a place of love actually - love of creation, love of the Earth and through the earth they come, through me to anyone who can receive them.
This year has been largely a year of meditation. It wasn't a conscious choice to me for it to be that way. It was a fight for survival, to live and not die. I am honest, true and open because I know what secrets do.
Christmas day for me and in the past leaves me wanting to leave the Earth, to make myself invisible and to not exist. I've come through this many times. I'm proficient at it and the last thing I need or want is sympathy or advice. I know who I am and those closest to me 'see' who I am. They see my courage, strength, tenacity and wisdom.
I'm also small and vulnerable and have had a tendency to rage and anger. It has been a passionate fuel that I have sought to put to good use. There is good reason why it is there, not that I am seeking to excuse it any way.
Some misunderstand. I let this kind of thing go regularly. It's ok. I am used to it. I have had to ponder a suggestion to not put my energy out to cause scattering, however, what I feel coming through the earth to me to share this day, may cause some scattering if we choose to be honest and to take response ability for the wellbeing of ourselves, our planet and little children and babies.
I feel the Earth energies strongly and I feel the effects of the governing programs that are in need of releasing. I seek to release some with this writing. So while people are listening to songs of adultery (e.g, mummy kissing Santa under the mistletoe and how would daddy respond - and how does this song program a young child's mind?) No amount of tinsel, sparkle and fake shine covers the misery generated by it.
What's more, it ends up in the bellies of the fish of our oceans and then humanity cries when they can't fish from it any more. I was invited by friends to share Christmas food, but graciously declined. I had dedicated myself to be with Papatuanuku (Earth Mother) as I feel the separation she feels during one of the greatest times of illusion or fakery there is that comes around year after year, in Western culture.
In Western culture of greed, capitalism, self gratification, coveting, competing, insanity still has a hold. Other cultures are busy trying to save their forests from it all at the same time.
Many people pretend. Many families bear with one another as hidden under a sea of pain, secrets seek to come into consciousness to free them, but then there is the alcohol, the spliffs, the technology, the toys and any number of distractions there to keep it alive in secrecy.
While it is lost in secrecy, many children are suffering from incest, from paedophilia, from inappropriate and predatory touch and adults are programmed and oblivious and unable to help it to stop. Yes, I speak a little from my experience and from not being able to put together fragments of memory that rise at this time of year.
Today, I felt I wanted to present the secrets to my family and see if they are all ok. I have been strong and protective of them too, not wanting them to have to remember where they are possibly affected too. I grieve the loss of my eldest daughter and wonder what really took her from me.
I feel the intensity of wanting to run but for me there is nowhere to go. My car is useless and I can't go driving and singing with the stereo way up loud as I used to. I don't want to take drugs or drink alcohol. I don't want to seek to satisfy my hunger. I chose to go inwards and 'be'.
I chose to face what is there and sincerely desire that more people would do that, so we may all heal and move on. Even though great inroads have been made to stop paedophilia, incest and Satanic ritual abuse, we're not clear yet. It's a problem we all can help heal even if it hasn't touched you, you can help keep children safe, people alive and communities coming from a place of care.
We're certainly not clear of the pain of it and I am not clear on how I now move forward from it in a healthy way. I just know that each day, my greatest love, this planet that we call Earth will advise me on what I need to know in each now moment. She's really good like that! Nature is my sanity. It's tangible. It is love and illusion and fakery is not.
May we release all these secrets, heal all the pain and do all that we can to make this world a better place now - and so it is!!!
Poppy Joy, writing about health from my perspective.