Addiction and aversion

Rāmere, 15 Huitanguru 2019.  Introspection has its place.  Sometimes we don't always like what we see in ourselves.  Remember then, to be for giving towards yourself and have compassion and self-love, as it is the only way to come to acceptance and move through what ever has caused us to perhaps have rough edges.

I am seeing mine.  I could go into regret, beat myself up, but what good would it do?  Life gives us challenges.  Every challenge is an opportunity to grow and learn.  We all have areas of our lives that we may feel inexperienced in.  There can be fear of messing up.  That fear may even cause one to mess up, so one can make up and move ahead, when there is an environment of love and acceptance.

Surrendering is the opposite of controlling.  Control can happen in many ways.  It can be like an addiction and it can also be like an aversion.  I seem quite prone to the aversion side of things.  I'd like to avoid what I sense may be dramatic or unsettling.  However, there are times when acceptance of our challenges is necessary.

I withdraw from people and events and this is a form of self control.  It's not really all that trusting.  I could be a hermit and just enjoy the sanctity of my own space and I do often.  I then find it lacks balance of meaningful interaction with other people. I feel life is challenging me to soften here and allow.  There is fear there.  I am trying to be courageous and release that fear.

I don't want to hurt others and I don't want to hurt myself, but aversion, just like addiction can do that.  It's a more socially acceptable form of copping out really, but to what end?  There is less stress when there is total acceptance and trust in the divine plan.  I can feel my resistance, and it is telling me, forgive yourself, love yourself, be yourself and release yourself from trying to protect yourself and isolate yourself further.

In the past, because of my unique set of life events, I have dealt with most of them on my own.  Sometimes we need a little help from good friends.  It can feel tricky, because the hurts of the past can make us prickly.  I find myself kicking up and resolutely deciding I will sort myself out on my own, so I isolate myself and then get frustrated because I have pushed away people who probably do care.  I still don't trust yet, that people do care.

Things still come up for healing and when they do they do.  It's time then to allow it all and surrender into the process.  Only then may we move into greater health and freedom.  Today is 2 Manik/Deer in the Aztec Mayan sacred count of time.  Deer is the humble, graceful and allowing healing energy.  It doesn't kick up against itself. It just moves with nature, observes and allows what is to be.  It's stable and grounded, but not stubborn like I can be.

We all have our areas of healing to attend to.  It needn't be controlled.  Healing will come up when it is safe to.  Within ourselves, we have an ability to not access anything more than we are ready to heal.  This is why memories are suppressed until it is safe enough to access them, process them and heal them.

Nature is always at the ready to assist our healing. Sometimes people are there to assist and people with healing gifts also can benefit in their own healing from the help of others with their healing gifts.

The more we are able to trust and surrender into life, the easier healing will be.  It takes an attitude of humility and a willingness to see ourselves.  It's not as easy to see where aversion fits in, as it is to see where addiction fits in.  We all have our blind spots.  Sometimes others help us to see them and heal them.

So as always, be kind.  Be gentle and self accepting.  Accept others with love so they may also have that environment of love and acceptance to heal when they choose to.  May we grow environments of love and acceptance where all beings are free to be all that they can be - and so it is

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